I can be disciplined and finish what I start, but many times when I have tried to strictly follow some normative script for how to achieve something, I have felt bored, confined, miserable. I know now that the problem is that the script has not always been the right one, or maybe the script no longer works. I feel fortunate that I have learned this about myself, and have found ways to change course rather than stick to what was expected of me (or what I thought was expected of me). Had it not been for listening to myself, I wouldn’t have have had many of my experiences, which have allowed me to have a fuller understanding of myself and of others.
I am writing this, finding myself once again unable to ignore my gut. Part of the script doesn’t fit; it hasn’t for a while. And yet, other parts of the script read perfectly. It’s time to revise the parts that don’t work. One of the first times I started to sense a mismatch was in high school. Not having a strong enough sense of myself, I was under the impression that I would be happy by following someone else’s expectations. After several years of pushing myself to fit a role that was not me, some kind of internal mechanism locked and would not allow me to move another step. This involuntary reflex did not release until I stopped and listened.
One response to “Directions”
Hi, this is a comment.
To get started with moderating, editing, and deleting comments, please visit the Comments screen in the dashboard.
Commenter avatars come from Gravatar.